Sharon Stewart, PsyD
INTENTIONAL ENRICHMENT COUNSELING
​
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Intentional Enrichment Blog

This blog is intended to provoke thought, smiles, perhaps even the occasional chuckle. It is composed of quotes, poems, articles, and pictures that I find thought-provoking, encouraging, or informative. They may or may not reflect my personal experience or, necessarily, my views. Nonetheless, I found them interesting and hope you will as well. I believe an intentional life requires awareness, introspection, compassion, and effort to exercise the freedom to choose. These are some of my navigational beacons for psychotherapy.

March 3, 2019
​
​Reported on goodnewsnetwork.org on February 19, 2019:

​Hearing impairment can often serve as a social barrier for those who don’t know how to speak sign language – but in this little Massachusetts town, sign language has actually brought the community together. 2-year-old Samantha Savitz is deaf, but that doesn’t stop her from being an outgoing little toddler. Whenever Samantha is out with her parents in their town of Newton, she tries to chat up everyone she meets.

As the youngster got older, she continuously tried to befriend her neighbors – and they were all heartbroken when they were unable to respond because they did not know sign language.

​Ra
ther than giving up, the entire community started attending sign language classes so they could communicate with Samantha.

February 24, 2019

“A man receives only what he is ready to receive… We hear and apprehend only what we already half know. If there is something which does not concern me, which is out of my line, which by experience or by genius my attention is not drawn to, however novel and remarkable it may be, if it is spoken we hear it not, if it is written, we read it not, or if we read it, it does not detain us. Every man thus tracks himself through life, in all his hearing and reading and observation and traveling. His observations make a chain. The phenomenon or fact that cannot in any wise be linked with the rest which he has observed, he does not observe. By and by we may be ready to receive what we cannot receive now.” Henry David Thoreau

Here is an eloquent expression of what I see as a source of much pain - our tendency as human beings to perceive that which is consistent with what we expect to see in others, the world, and ourselves while not giving our attention to that which might suggest an alternate theory about our experience or existence. Shaping reality to confirm expectations or beliefs that are painful or shameful pales before the fear of reconfiguring what we think we know or what we predict to be true. I believe that part of the stones that form the path to making life better is exposing those beliefs and expectation to the light of day, then to draw on our courage to test them.

For contemplation:

7/28/2016

1 Comment

 
“We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home.”

          Australian Aboriginal saying

"The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows."

         Buddha
         http://www.brainyquote.com/qutes/quotes/b/buddha118090.html

"People often avoid making decisions out of fear of making a mistake. Actually the failure to make decisions is one of life's biggest mistakes."

     Rabbi Noah Weinbe
rg

Look to this day,
for it is life, the very breath of life.
In its brief course lie
all the realities of your existence;
the bliss of growth,
the glory of action,
the splendor of beauty.
For yesterday is only a dream,
and tomorrow is but a vision.
But today, well lived,
makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
and every tomorrow
a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.

       Ancient Sanskrit
       http://chaplaincyinstitute.org/library/blessings-and-prayers/quotes-ancient-
       scriptures-of-hinduism/

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The reliability of logic? Ask the Sophists.

7/27/2016

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Mull on That | The wide world of logical fallacies
August 08, 2014 by 
Benjamin Sylvester

Nobody likes to argue, but when you’re wrong, you’re wrong! Of course, there are many ways to be wrong when we argue, and we call these wrongs “logical fallacies.” There are formal fallacies, where the structure of a person’s argument is wrong despite possibly having a correct conclusion, and there are informal fallacies where the argument might be wrong structurally but is more-so wrong in its assertion of content.

For example, let’s take a person handing out pamphlets about being vegetarian. Someone goes up to the vegetarian and argues (usually impolitely, I might add) that there is no possible way a vegetarian diet could be healthier than an omnivorous diet, because said person cannot imagine that it’s healthy for anybody — an appeal to common sense.
This fallacy is known as “argument from incredulity,” where no matter what the evidence, a personal disbelief causes one to think it’s not healthy in general and therefore vegetarianism is a false solution.

Or let’s say the person that came up to the vegetarian is a college quarterback who just lost the Sugar Bowl and he decides to take the pamphlet from the vegetarian, rip it up in front of him, and insult his very human existence — this is a pleasant little logical fallacy known as “argumentum ad hominem,” where the actual argument is avoided by directly attacking the traits of the argument’s opponents to disprove them.

Some arguments are presented in a way that asserts that one arguer is better than the other for miscellaneous reasons. Let’s say, for instance, a student in class argues that poverty is an unbreakable cycle of poor education, poor nutrition and low employment rates. The student points to sociological research that has shown significant evidence of these dimensions relating to each other, but another student speaks up and asserts that he’s actually been in poverty, and this student has managed to break out of the cycle. Thus, being here now suggests that “you don’t know what you’re talking about because I’ve been there.” There are a couple of logical fallacies produced from this argument. One is the “moral high ground” fallacy: the assumption that a poor upbringing gives the student more real-world experience (which it may certainly have), but that because of this upbringing the student is therefore better as a person for breaking out of the cycle.

This is a logical fallacy — it gives the impression that this student is better than the other for that reason, despite the argument being about poverty’s causes and not who is better. His argument is also fallacious because he uses the mind projection fallacy, which is when people consider the way they see the world as the way it really is. For the other student’s case, this outlook on the world may be very different but nonetheless not totally wrong.

But who could forget the wonderful appeals to emotion? These logical fallacies can be fun, in a sad and meaningless way. For example, a fundamentalist Christian might project his voice on a speaker outside on 33rd and Market streets, near Mario the Magnificent. Let’s say that this speaker exclaims that all homosexuals will go to Hell, because it is a sin and God will punish them.

Despite all religious nonsense in general, this fundamentalist tries to use the appeal to fear; any good God-fearing American might be afraid to go to Hell for their actions. Rather than using valid reasons to decry homosexuality, the speaker argues by trying to instill fear. He might also use an appeal to nature, where he’ll say homosexuality is not natural, since it does not allow procreation. Any appeal to emotion or nature is usually a flawed argument that really doesn’t have solid ground to stand on, so watch out for these nasty ones!

​There are many, many more logical fallacies, and they have fun Latin names like “reductio ad Hitlerum” (take a wild guess as to what that means), “argumentum ad populum” and “ad baculum,” and “post hoc ergo propter hoc!” Each fallacy is better than the next, so read up on all of them, and make sure your next philosophical argument is logical and infallible! Everybody’s doing it!

Benjamin Sylvester is the president of the Drexel Animal Welfare Group. He can be contacted at op-ed@thetriangle.org.
“Mull On That” publishes biweekly.

Original source: Triangle.org
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Spiritual Warrior

7/24/2016

1 Comment

 
This is a poem from a Native American, unfortunately without the author's attribution.

SPIRITUAL WARRIOR
Life offers us the opportunity to become a Spiritual Warrior. 
A warrior is one who bravely goes into those dark areas within 
themselves to ferret out the Truth of their being. 
It takes great courage, stamina and endurance to 
become a Spiritual Warrior.

The path is narrow, the terrain rough and rocky. 
You will walk alone: through the dark caves, 
up those steep climbs and through the dense thick forest. 
You will meet your dark side. The faces of fear, deceit, and 
sadness all await your arrival

No one can take this journey but you. 
There comes a time, in each of our lives, 
when we are given the choice to follow this path. 
Should we decide to embark on this journey, 
we can never turn back.... Our lives are changed forever 
On this journey, there are many different places we can 
choose to slip into and hide. But the path goes on. 
The Spiritual Warrior stays the course, wounded at times, 
exhausted and out of energy. Many times, the Warrior will 
struggle back to their feet to take only a few steps before 
falling again.

Rested, they forge on, 
continuing the treacherous path. 
The journey continues. The Spiritual Warrior 
stays the course. Weakened, but never broken. 
One day, the battle, loneliness and desperate fights are over. 
The sun breaks through the clouds; the birds begin to sing 
their sweet melodies. There is a change in the energy. 
A deep change within the self.

The warrior has fought the courageous fight. 
The battle of the dark night of the soul is won. 
New energy now fills the Warrior. 
A new path is now laid before them. 
A gentler path filled with the inner-knowing 
of one who has personal empowerment.

With their personal battle won, they are filled with joy. 
A new awareness that they are one with the Spirit beams 
as they go forth to show others the way. 
They are not permitted to walk the path for others. 
They can only love, guide and be a living example 
of the Truth of their being.

​Original source:
http://www.blackhawkproductions.com/poetrynative.htm


1 Comment

Kindness

7/21/2016

0 Comments

 
KINDNESS SAVES A HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT'S LIFE
 Story by Kelsey G. 01/19/2016

One afternoon, my friends and I were painting a banner for our high school homecoming in the hallway but kept having to go inside of the girl’s bathroom to wash off our messy brushes. I noticed a girl standing in the bathroom quietly sobbing to herself. Everyone kept passing this girl pretending she wasn't even there. I myself had spent several years of high school standing in bathrooms around the school crying because I was struggling with depression and anxiety. It triggered something deep within my heart as I saw some of myself in this girl.


​So, despite being a bit shy walking up to a stranger, I approached the girl and asked if she was okay, even though I knew she wasn't. She shook her head no and I told her that she wasn't alone and I would do anything she needed me to, to ease this pain she was in. The school day was almost over though and she had to catch her ride so I gave her my phone number and made her promise to text me that night so we could talk and so she wouldn't have to cope alone. We ended up texting most of the night and the next morning she told me had I not stopped and given her my time she probably would have gone through with her plan and committed suicide. 

I had no idea as we were standing in the bathroom that she was about ready to take her life and that an act that seemed so small to me made all the difference in her life. It made all those sayings about the power of kindness suddenly seem so true. 

That day reaffirmed my decision to find work in a field where I could help those struggling with mental illnesses. Today I am in the process of starting my own organization called Fight For Your Infinity to bring light to those who can't currently see it themselves. I will continue to fight for those suffering because nobody should ever feel like they aren't cared about. I care. And I will spend my entire life spreading that message. 

And to the girl in the bathroom, well she still has her life and I love seeing that she hasn't given up.

Original link: https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/kindness-stories/34-kindness-saves-a-high-school
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A perspective on acceptance

7/21/2016

1 Comment

 
Acceptance is the hardest part of living
 
Jon Westenberg
Medium
July 19, 2016
 
I didn’t want this life. I didn’t want to be who I am today. I wanted more. I wanted to be in a huge band, touring and playing arena shows, I wanted to be a celebrity, I wanted to be huge. I wanted more money, more success, more everything. I wanted.
 
But the life I’m living isn’t like that. The life I’m living doesn’t look anything like the one I wanted. Every now and then, when I look at who I am and what I have, I’m disappointed. I feel let down, and I feel like I missed my chance.
 
The thing is, I also know that I’m happy. I rolled the dice on a bunch of dreams, and I’ll roll the dice on a bunch more. The hard part isn’t trying to make it, it’s reaching acceptance, and being happy with wherever I am.
 
I’ve always struggled with acceptance, with being able to just look at things the way they are, and be okay with it. Unfortunately, it’s an almost essential skill.
 
We don’t have to accept everything in the world -- but we do have to be able to accept when we fail, or accept when success doesn’t look the way we thought it would.
 
I worry sometimes that we’ve put too much weight on success. That we’ve sacrificed everything else to make success our religion and our creed, as though that’s where we can measure a life.
That’s where we get this idea that we’ve got to hack everything, or we’ve got to do everything. That’s where we get the incredibly misguided idea that people who are successful in one area must be experts in all others. We listen Jim Carey talk about vaccination like a few hit movies make him a medical expert.
 
Idolizing success just makes me unhappy with my life, and it makes it harder for me to practice acceptance, and be content with the path I’m walking.
 
I look at people who’ve “made it” -- the musicians and the entrepreneurs and the writers who are miles ahead of where I am, and I often struggle to enjoy their work. I’m too busy feeling jealous.
 
That’s pretty poisonous. It’s unhealthy.
I know that the life I have is a pretty fucking good one. It’s not filled with glamour and glitz, and I don’t own a Maserati, but I’m happy. Focusing on what I don’t have, or what I could have one day, is only going to challenge everything that I have of value right now and make it seem worthless.
 
And it’s not worthless. I’m really glad I am where I am. When I get stuck into comparisons, I can always find a way to feel shit about myself, but the closer I get to accepting what I do and don’t have, the happier I am.
 
For me, acceptance is the hardest part of being alive. I’m trying to balance that acceptance of my life, with the drive to change it, work harder, and make it better. One without the other will never work, but the two are often at odds.
 
I don’t want acceptance to mean I just give up on my dreams, that’s not what I’m looking for. But I do want it to give me a baseline, where I can exercise some pride and contentment. I want to be able to build on that.
 
I know what acceptance will look like, when I reach it. I’ll be able to read tech news sites and listen to music without feeling a screaming inadequacy. I hope I reach it soon, and I can’t wait to feel a little more satisfied.
 
“Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, So what. That’s one of my favorite things to say. So what.” 
 
― Andy Warhol
​

https://medium.com/hi-my-name-is-jon/acceptance-is-the-hardest-part-of-living-2859a0b7deba#.vwiln3s85
1 Comment

Paying attention to good things

7/19/2016

0 Comments

 
This link had me smiling - I hope it will do the same for you.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/h2/vflt/elainawahl/18-tiny-reminders-the-world-can-begoodutm_term=.bkadAPp5w&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Animals%
20713&utm_content=Animals%20713+CID_5250833ba814131063f6774bbac43
667&utm_source=BuzzFeed%20Newsletters#.mrbgN4Vmp
​



​Source: Buzzfeed
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Identity

7/19/2016

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"If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive."

Audre Lorde, American Poet

​Source: www.brainyquote.com
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On change

7/17/2016

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Below are excerpts from a blog posting by Heather Waggoner in The Blog section of the Huffington Post. She writes about communicating organizational change, but a number of her points seemed to me worth thinking about with regard to personal change.

Heather Waggoner
The Blog, Huffington Post, July 17, 2016
 
 
Do you think you’ve changed?
 
Do you think you’ve changed very much in your life? And do you think you’ll change very much in the future? Do you find that you’re much different than your five-year-old self? Your 15 year-old self? Your 25 year-old self?
 
Most of us acknowledge that in many ways we have changed quite a lot in our lives, up to now. Some change has been imposed on us, some of it is related to the season of life that we are in, and some is self-driven. But by and large, research suggests that we underestimate how much we’ll change in the future.
 
If you then found things different . . . than you expected them to be - it will be partly because your current self values things differently than your past self did.
 
You’ve changed.
 
Maybe not very much, but you have.
 
Here’s where things really get complicated: we make most decisions with our future selves in mind but based on the incorrect perception that we have it all figured out, now.
it’s easy for people to remember the times when change went wrong, remember how difficult things were - and at the same time they find it very difficult to imagine how change might therefore be better this time, or next time, or importantly to evaluate if indeed the change is in line with what they think their future selves will value.
 
Change . . . can sometimes feel imposed . . . and therefore it can quickly activate defeatist thinking and negative emotions because, on a primal level, they feel under threat.
 
When someone feels under threat - their instinct is to resist change and defend what they have. They can even become further entrenched in their views and behaviours.
 
There are tangible choices people can make throughout a change journey but one that is perhaps the most helpful is the choice of mindset.
 
When we feel we have no choice, we give away our power.
 
Groups, friendships and social capital are all important in securing and maintaining commitment and motivation in change.


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A difference between morals and ethics?

7/15/2016

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''Objectivity and justice have nothing to do with one another.''


Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900), Friedrich Nietzsche, Sämtliche Werke: Kritische Studienausgabe, vol. 1, p. 290, eds. Giorgio Colli and Mazzino Montinari, Berlin, de Gruyter (1980); On the Advantage and Disadvantage of History for Life, p. 35, trans. by Peter Preuss, Indianapolis, Hackett Publishing Company (1980). On the Uses and Disadvantages of History for Life, section 6 (1874). Published as the second essay in Nietzsche's Untimely Meditations (1873-1876).

Source: www.poemhunter.com
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A Sioux Prayer

7/13/2016

0 Comments

 


Translated by Chief Yellow Lark - 1887

Oh, Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the winds
Whose breath gives life to the world, hear me
I come to you as one of your many children
I am small and weak
I need your strength and wisdom
May I walk in beauty
Make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have made
And my ears sharp to your voice.
Make me wise so that I may know the things you have taught your children.
The lessons you have written in every leaf and rock
Make me strong--------!
Not to be superior to my brothers, but to fight my greatest enemy....myself
Make me ever ready to come to you with straight eyes,
So that when life fades as the fading sunset,
May my spirit come to you without shame.

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